DIETERS' ANONYMOUS

Bringing the kids back from school-their last day 
of the year. They are a noisy bunch, ecstatic, thinking 
of the long vacation ahead. Home is just a few blocks 
away. The kids just cannot wait to get in and throw 
away their books-for good!

Huff and puff

huff and puff

I can hear Anju slogging at the myriad machines

trying to melt away her ample derriere

and all those protrusions at the wrong places.

That was a couple of months ago..

The kids’ summer holidays are over

at last to pack them off to school..

after the struggle to keep them occupied

for two long months..

what a relief!

After the razzmatazz of the past few weeks,

chaos reigning supreme everywhere,

suddenly the days seems to have grown longer

with time on my hands to call my own.

That’s when I decided Ill drop in at Anju’s place

With Anju around, time definitely flies

There is no end to what she knows about others

probably she knows others better than she knows herself

or even better than they know their own selves!

I decide to buy her a diet drink

after all I don’t want to be the temptress

to break her fitness regimen

She must have gotten herself an all new wardrobe by now

After all, at the pace of her work-out

it would be impossible to wear her old clothes

that would surely flap about her.

I feel rather self-conscious of the flab that Im carrying

around my waist. May be I can ask Anju to teach me a

few tricks to melt it down in real quick time.

I can hear the chimes of the doorbell echo inside Anju’s house.

I feel my eyeballs popping out of my head

Anju has bloated to twice her earlier self

She gives me a guilty look and I feel equally silly

with the cans of diet drinks which seem to mock her

Over a cup of very sweet milky coffee (may be that’s

the secret of her girth) she confesses how she resolutely

stuck to her workouts but ended up bingeing on twice

her normal quantity of food later. The cycle went on

uninterrupted until one fine day Anju realized this wasn’t

taking her anywhere and she was much better off without

her punishing work out schedules.

Now the machines are neatly stacked in a corner of 

her room. But of course they aren’t wasted

They make good clotheslines and shelves!

Its one of those days..

the argument begins..

Husband wants to go watch a movie at the multiplex

Being my slothful self I prefer curled up in my

favorite chair with the DVD version of the movie

Kid is being the unbiased referee-

not taking sides, game for either options.

Ultimately female decibel power wins

the verdict is out-DVD it is!

The credits start rolling, the opening scene…

The lead actor enters with a swish and a swagger

the heroine flutters her lashes coyly

in her purple and pink ensemble-

so much like the one I wanted to buy the other day

but which both my husband and kid

ruled out firmly saying I may have to

rewind at least twenty years to carry it off-

when all means of dissuasion- pleading,

cajoling, wheedling, sweet-talking failed-

threatening me with tears-to spare them the

embarrassment of being seen with me in this costume-

well, that’s another story altogether..

To cut a long story short, that reminded

me of the call to my friend which was long overdue.

I told them I would be back in a minute after

making that call and to continue watching the movie

My gentlemanly husband said he would wait

for me to finish the call and we could all watch it together.

Luckily for me, my friend is at home all bored

and brimming over with juicy bits of gossip..

Two long hours have passed and

there sits my husband remote in hand

looking visibly aged and covered slightly with dust.

Would anyone blame him for preferring the highly-priced

movie ticket to the easy-on-the-pocket Rs. 20/- DVD?

If I Knew...

If I knew that today would be the last time I’d see you, I would hug you tight and pray the Lord be the keeper of your soul. If I knew that this would be the last time you pass through this door, I’d embrace you, kiss you, and call you back for one more. If I knew that this would be the last time I would hear your voice, I’d take hold of each word to be able to hear it over and over again. If I knew this is the last time I see you, I’d tell you I love you, and would not just assume foolishly you know it already.

BATTLE OF THE REMOTE

Ever noticed how the TV Remote triggers our basic instincts and brings out the stone-age war skills in us? The most common areas of dispute are:

       1) Ownership of the TV Remote: this is signified by its being on the arm of the chair/sofa closest to you - it is more important than life itself.
2) On those blood-freezing occasions when you look up from your seat to discover that the TV Remote is still lying on top of the TV, then one of you must retrieve it; who shall it be? And how will this affect (1)?
3) Disappearance of the TV Remote: Precisely who had it last will be hotly disputed, witnesses may be called. Things can turn very nasty indeed when the person who isn't looking for it is revealed to be unknowingly sitting on it.
4) The TV Remote is a natural nomad and sometimes, it goes missing for heart-stopping minutes. During these dark times, someone must actually get up to change the channel; International Law decrees that this, "will not be the person who did it last" - but can this be ascertained? Who will be the referee in such peace-shattering disputes?

Life is tough indeed!

MISSING SOMETHING?

Is this generation missing something? No doubt today’s

kids are better off than us in every conceivable way, be

it technologically or economically.

But arent they ignorant of the little pleasures of life?

In my childhood I could spend a whole day just watching

the hustle and bustle of a railway station-the trains

chugging along, the babble of a million voices, the

mélange of smells, attacking our senses all at the

same time. Train journeys were meant to watch the

ever-changing landscape swish by through the celluloid

of the window. Sure, books, cards, board games were

taken along, just in case, but never saw the light of the

day in the coach.

When I say the best of my childhood days the first

thought that enters my mind is the power-off nights

when the entire neighborhood spills on to the streets-

the adults exchanging notes about their day, the

adolescents sharing their secrets away from the eyes

and ears of their parents, the kids outdoing each other

in creating a racket-a festive element in the air that

lasts until the EB bestows its kindness on the locality.

As kids we used to accompany my father to the

vegetable market. The compensation for putting up

with the discomforts of the noisome cacophony of the

place was usually a parrys toffee. But if the trip takes

a longer time or the load is heavier than usual we were

treated to a gas-filled balloon each. The bags would be

weighing in both our hands and the balloon’s thread

held by the teeth. Throughout the long trip home we

took care to hold on to the precious thread. Father

would deliberately keep asking us something or the

other provoking us to open our mouths and let go of

the gas balloon. Bringing our spoils home was in itself

an adventure.

I cannot imagine today’s kids sitting idle on a train

without their books, ipods, laptops and whatnot

and still complain about getting bored.

Walking to the market, what was that??

Its as if we run on electricity too,

no-power days are literally so.

Where have all the little pleasures gone?

Do our kids even realize it?

But then only if you have something

will you miss it when its gone

Ignorance is bliss after all!

Give me a book…

Give me a corner & nook…

I can forget the people around me….

Nothing matters beyond the book….

But Sometimes it does.....

Reality is bitter...

I live in dreams...

YOGA Vs OBESITY

Obesity is one of the biggest health problems of the modern age. It is the main cause for many serious, incurable and fatal diseases. Blood pressure, heart problem, diabetes and other dangerous diseases are caused due to obesity. Our body weight gradually increases when focus is not given during childhood. Over time, this leads to obesity. It can be cured permanently with the intake of balanced food, proper life style and regular practice of yoga asanas. This will also cure the above-mentioned diseases, as well as many others. Regular practice of yoga asanas cure all types of disease. A few asanas very useful for overcoming obesity are given below: Dwichakrikasana Method: 1. Lie down straight on your back with your hands beside and below the hips. Stop the breath. Raise one leg, bending it at the knee, and then rotate it like you are riding a bicycle. Repeat this for 10 to 30 times as per your capacity. Similarly, repeat the exercise with your other leg. Rotate the legs without touching the ground. Make a circular shape with the legs. 2. When tired lie down in shavasana and rest for some time and repeat the exercise in the opposite direction, again resting when tired. 3. Inhale, and then repeat the exercise by rotating both the legs simultaneously in a circular motion, as done when you ride a bicycle. After, repeat this in the opposite direction continuously like a bicycle. 5 to 10 times according to your capacity. Benefits: 1. This is the best exercise to reduce weight. Regular practice of this asana for 5 to 10 minutes sheds out unnecessary weight, and obesity can be reduced in a very short time. 2. It gives proper shape to the stomach. It activates the intestines. It cures constipation, dysentery, acidity etc. 3. In case of backache do the exercise with single leg, it is helpful for backache as well. Padvritasana Method: 1. Lie down straight on your back. Raise the right leg and make a circle by rotating the leg clockwise. In this way make 5 to 20 circles without touching the leg to the ground. 2. After rotating in one direction, rotate the leg in the opposite direction Rest in shavasana when you become tired. Alternate between legs. 3. After doing this exercise with single legs, do it with both the legs simultaneously. Rotate the legs in as big a circle as you can. Rotate the legs clockwise and then again anti-clockwise. Benefits: 1. This asana is also for reducing extra weight. 2. It reduces the fat accumulated in the hips, thighs and waist and gives proper shape to the stomach. Ardha Halasana Method: This asana is like uttanapadasana - the only difference is that in uttanapadasana the legs are raised up to 30 degrees whereas in ardha halasana the legs are raised up to 90 degrees. 1. Lie down on your back. Keep the palms of your hands towards the floor;your legs should be straight and both the feet should be together. 2. Inhale and slowly raise the legs straight up to 90 degrees and remain in this position for some time. Do not bend the knees when you raise the legs. 3. While bringing down the legs, rest the legs on the floor without jerk. Rest for a while and repeat it again at least six times. 4. Those who have backache, should raise one leg at a time. Benefits: 1. This asana is especially useful to reduce weight. 2. It makes the intestines flexible and healthy, increases the fire of the stomach and cures constipation, gas and obesity. 3. It is also beneficial in shifting of the navel, heart disease, stomachache and respiratory problems. 4. Raising one leg at a time is especially beneficial for backache.