Don’t let the title mislead you! This is not a self-help blog to decipher the nuances of Indian Premier League T20 Cricket or navigate through the maze of IPL jargon. May be a more appropriate title would be ‘Dummies and the IPL’. So now that you are suitably unimpressed, adventurous enough and more importantly, if you don’t mind wasting a few more minutes of your life, do proceed further, by all means.
When everyone is gripped by the IPL fever, I thought it the right topic to write about. What a cunning move to garner maximum readership!! (Did I hear you snigger?) But a little problem confronted me-should I not know cricket (not the six-legged variety) in order to write about it? I bolstered my self-confidence by recalling the words of wisdom, that no one who feared the waves ever found a pearl and plunged into my task.
I decided to equip myself with at least a rudimentary knowledge of cricket. What better way than to watch the IPL3 matches? I was glued to the television set keeping track of the teams. Within a week I was familiar with the colors of the teams ranging from sunflower yellow to hideous purple, not to speak of the golden pads and silver gloves. I was an encyclopedia of knowledge about the team-owners and their sartorial styles. I started waiting eagerly for the off-field cat-fight between Ms. Kat and Ms. Deeps who were both promoting the same team. I knew all about the hands-on (!) style of Ms. Zinta and the aloof hands-off style of Ms. Shetty in supporting their respective teams. Priety pranced about all over the field jumping up and down like a yo-yo all the time and giving out ear drum-splitting screams resembling the battle cry of a T. Rex. In complete contrast was Shilpa who chose to sit demurely beside her richie-rich hubby displaying her fashionable shades and other random accessories and diamonds the size of rocks which our very own Chandrayaan brought from the moon, her sound-bite never progressing beyond a giggle.
After a week, I sought the help of my friend to bolster my attempts at mastering cricket. After all, there is strength in numbers. So, it was a combined effort thereafter. But sadly, no two women agree on anything. So, as we sat drooling over Dhoni’s biceps, we had our eternal arguments about whose curls were wilder-was it Malinga or Murali, who had the highest cuteness factor-was it Lee or Gilly, and in between, trying to spot the similarities between the Pathan brothers. We derived sadistic pleasure in choosing the teams for the last two spots-would it be the Rajasthan Royals, Kolkata Knight Riders or the Kings XI Punjab? Two weeks just flew by in a haze of fours and sixers.
So what if I haven’t mastered cricket? When the commentator says that Harbhajan has bowled a maiden over, I know that he isn’t referring to a Bollywood starlet. I may not know what fine leg/square leg/leg break/leg bye mean, but I do know they are not anatomical references. I know enough not to think dirty when I hear about the Asking Rate. I’m quite happy with my progress so far. There are a few more weeks to go for the grand finale of the IPL Season 3. By then I’m confident I will update my knowledge and know for a fact how many swigs of Kingfisher beer Dr. Mallya takes during every match, if not what the googlies/yorkers/bouncers mean!!